Jokes: not punny

�  I tried to catch some fog.  I mist. 

�  When chemists die, they barium.

�  Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 

�  A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is

   now a seasoned veteran.

�  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

�  How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it. 

�  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

�  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. 

�  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.

�  I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words. 

�  They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

�  This dyslexic man walks into a bra . 

�  PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

�  I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

�  A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.

�  When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

�  What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds.

�  I wondered why the cricket ball was getting bigger.  Then it hit me!

�  Broken pencils are pointless. 

�  What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus. 

�  England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool and a Braintree.

�  I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. 

�  I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. 

�  All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. 

�  I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

�  Velcro - what a rip off! 

�  Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.